Dear Whorebag,
Contrary to what you obviously think, I do not enjoy accompanying you on sniffing expeditions at 10 PM when the windchill is 3 degrees. When you sit at the door whimpering, I assume that it's because you need to do your business and not because you just want to go kicking around the block. I just thought you should know. Maybe next time you'll remember how much salty paws hurt.
Love,
Your Annoyed Momz
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
In re: Snowman Pillow
Dear Myrtle,
I know you like soft, stuffed things, typically in the shape of animals. I know that you like to pretend you are killing them and the squeaker inside. All fine, that's why I buy these things for you. However, snowman pillow("SP") decoration is not a toy. I found him on the floor last Thursday, so I put him back on the sofa. I found SP on my bed on Friday, so I put him back on the sofa. On Saturday, SP had mysteriously made his way to your bed, hidden in a pile among Hedgie, Candy, and Stretchy Dog. This is strange, seeing as SP cannot move about on his own. Frosty the Snowman is an anomaly if you think that's how you would slip this by me. This time I put SP on the sofa behind a regular old throw pillow, where he stayed until today. I came home to find SP on the kitchen table. I'm sure he likes his daily adventure, and I'm beginning to enjoy this new game. I'll call it Snowman Hunt. Thank you for not eating his buttons off.
Love,
Momz
I know you like soft, stuffed things, typically in the shape of animals. I know that you like to pretend you are killing them and the squeaker inside. All fine, that's why I buy these things for you. However, snowman pillow("SP") decoration is not a toy. I found him on the floor last Thursday, so I put him back on the sofa. I found SP on my bed on Friday, so I put him back on the sofa. On Saturday, SP had mysteriously made his way to your bed, hidden in a pile among Hedgie, Candy, and Stretchy Dog. This is strange, seeing as SP cannot move about on his own. Frosty the Snowman is an anomaly if you think that's how you would slip this by me. This time I put SP on the sofa behind a regular old throw pillow, where he stayed until today. I came home to find SP on the kitchen table. I'm sure he likes his daily adventure, and I'm beginning to enjoy this new game. I'll call it Snowman Hunt. Thank you for not eating his buttons off.
Love,
Momz
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